lameust:

absinthecake:

When people ask how you’re doing at the end of the semester

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(via kevinlfortier)

kingofcreppyisland:

Bae: Come over I’m horny ;)

Me: I can’t I’m murdering two teeange lovers in a clown suit

Bae: My parents are out

Me:

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(via stability)

    me: are there any spirits listening
    ouija: yes are you alone
    me: yes
    ouija: haha nice whats up :P
    me: trying to contact my dead grandmother
    ouija: cool cool so what would u be doing if i was alive right now lol

just-a-mean-teen:

My anaconda will take whatever it can get at this point

(via stability)

fedswatching:

harmoniaz:

fledge:

dogs arent that great

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(via kevinlfortier)

stereksextape:

Apparently men don’t like skinny jeans because it leaves nothing to the imaginations?

What is there to imagine?

Yes, there are two legs there what else did you expect, tentacles?

(Source: starspangledsextape, via fake-mermaid)